I watch the dark with baited breath

It was here, somewhere, life was laid to rest

With heightened senses and very aware

I feel my way toward the stagnant air

The world revolves outside my brain

Yet, all I feel deep inside is pain

I walk around smiling, eyes wide open

But inside is where I keep real emotion

I have tried to talk to those who love me

I asked for their guidance, to help me see

But they don't understand the dark side

I listen to the penguin who says "slide"

It seems that's the answer everywhere

That's all I can hear in the dark night air

People saying "go with the flow"

So I wipe the tears and off I go

I try to walk, but I still fall down

I search for the light, but it can't be found

I look behind me for familiar faces

But I only find shadows of former traces

So I focus in front of me but stumble once more

I am going in circles looking for the door

Surely there must to be a way out of here

But, alas, I'm afraid it's no where near

Powerful confusion sweeps through my soul

This state of failure begins to grow old

I can't will myself to be strong much more

I just want to sit down on the cold, hard floor

Just to rest for a minute, have a moment's peace

Is it too much to ask for the pain to cease?

There must be an answer somewhere out there

I certainly can't find it in the dark anywhere

I wake from sleep hoping there's light

But, once again, I only find night

I'm tired, my brain an exhausted jumble

I just want it to stop but again I stumble

I take a deep breath and reach inside again

I search for clarity, hope, and maybe a grin

There are few out there who really "get me"

But those few save me, daily, from uncertainty

My kids are the main ones who keep me going

For them, my love will forever be flowing

My cherished friends and family, both new and old

Hold my hand and keep away the cold

I look back behind me and find, standing there,

My best friend, for whom I will always care

Without all these people to whom I talk and cry

Life would surely be a mess worse than tonight

Tomorrow will come and go, once more

I will try to be strong and get closer to the door

I will smile and laugh and show love abound

But my heart will keep the walls around....

So I will keep searching, looking, hoping

For the door to swing wide open

When I know where I am, once again

I am most certain that my life will begin